When I was in third grade, I was a Brownie Girl Scout and we had meetings on Tuesdays after school. We wore our little brown uniforms with an orange sash. Each week, one girl was designated to bring the snack for the next week. If it was your turn, you took the orange bucket home and brought it back with the snack inside. This week it was my friend’s turn to bring the treat. Her name was Lori. Back when I was a young girl, Oreo cookies were a really big deal. My mother never bought us name brand snacks. As a matter of fact, she seldom bought us snacks at all. Lori’s mother sent Oreo cookies for the snack. Lori and I both had a crush on a boy in the 6th grade, whose name was Craig. Of course, he didn’t like us because we were only in third grade. He probably wouldn’t have even known we existed if my sister wasn’t his classmate. Every day when we would see him on the playground, we would ask him, “Craig, do you like us?” Of course, his response was always “no” but this particular day he saw the Oreo cookies in the bucket. He said, “If you give me a pack of Oreo cookies, I will like you.” Since she had two packs, I begged her to give him one of the packs. She finally agreed. The next day we saw him on the playground and again we asked the question, “Do you like us?” His reply was, “If you bring me Oreo cookies every day, I will like you.” I got excited. This was easy, I thought. The only problem, of course, was my mother didn’t buy Oreo cookies. Luckily, Lori had more sense than me and said that we wouldn’t be bringing him cookies and that was the end of that. I often laugh when I think back about that whole situation. However, as I observe adolescents in relationships today, all too often the cookie has been replaced and it’s not so funny. The “Craig’s” in life are saying, “If you give me what I want, I will like you” and there aren’t enough “Lori’s” around to tell the “Sandra’s” that this is not okay.

For most of my adult life, I have worked with teens in various capacities. I have taught middle school, high school; and have worked with church youth groups on the local and national levels. My most memorable experiences were when I taught an in-school Teen Parent program at two different schools in the Cleveland, OH area. One suburban, one inner-city. My conclusion from all these experiences is the same; teens are often unaware of the Physical, Social and Emotional consequences of being in pre-marital sexual relationships; and the consequences are the same for all teens regardless of race, socio-economic status, age or religious affiliations. This book will include quotes and stories that I have gathered from teens over the years. At the end of each chapter is a “Dear Daughter” letter. These are letters written by real fathers to you. The inspiration was their own daughters. Your father may not be in your life, but these fathers wanted to share a natural father’s love with you just as our heavenly father loves you. My prayer and hope that after you read this book you will have the tools to have a healthy relationship and to realize that “it’s not an Oreo cookie” so please don’t give it away.